>> Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hi y'all!

Thank you EVER so kindly for your steadfast patience and sweet messages since my last post. You warm my heart and I am SO thankful for you! The past TWO weeks have been BUSY, BUSY, BUSY! Did I say BUSY??? ROFL! I've had no computer time, but LOTS of PRECIOUS family time, which has been LONG overdue for THIS girl! Of course, I will have OODLES to share this week and then I need to hanker down and get 'er done for my upcoming Grand Opening at Digi Scrap Obsession! WOOT!

Okay, down to business. SO, what do my kit, *OOPSIE DAISIES* and a REAL "big" boo-boo have in common ... OH, and the "miracle" I was eluding to two weeks ago??? The following photos will tell the majority of the story, however, I shall give you a bit of an intro, HA!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 at 3:14 am, Robert answered the phone to hear my son, John, on the other end explaining to him that he'd just rolled Robert's Explorer on his way home from work. All I remember is hearing Robert ask, "Is it in the water John?" Y'all just KNOW that my heart sank. In the past couple of years, two semi-trucks have missed the turn just before the bridge and have gone through the railing and plummeted into the deepest part of the lake below. *sigh* John told Robert that he had gotten beyond the bridge, past the resort and just shy of Poker Flat, which is where the boys and I lived when Robert and I first met.

Just beyond the resort is a semi-steep hill and a curve. It was just after reaching the top of that hill that John fell asleep. All he remembers is awakening and finding his body unable to react to the direction the Explorer was taking and he told me that he just "went with it"! I am sure many of you know that feeling when your body is unable to respond to what you are thinking it SHOULD do when you are tired! Bless his heart. In retrospect, his "going with it" and the fact that his body was totally relaxed from being asleep, plus his wearing his seat belt kept him from sustaining serious injuries or worse. Not to mention that it simply was NOT his time! Oh, and on the opposite side of the accident scene is a cliff with the lake below. John did mention to me in a one-on-one conversation that he DID believe for a moment that he was going to die. Knowing that alone, as a mother especially, pulls BIG time at your heart strings as you try to EVEN imagine what your child was feeling at that VERY moment of helplessness. I, personally, have NEVER been in that position. I have feared for my life at the hands of another, however, I have NEVER been in the face of death.

John works at the same place as Robert. While saving his money for a car of his own, Robert has generously been allowing John to drive his pride 'n joy to work. Robert works days, comes home and off goes John, who works swing. John had fallen asleep and veered off of the highway ten minutes or less from home.

Our two-lane highways are dark and desolate in the wee hours of the morning. We have to cross a bridge over our BEAUTIFUL Lake Tulloch before reaching the final stretch of highway home and that is where Robert had thought John rolled the Explorer. Mind you, you just KNOW that John was already traumatized, let alone having to call and tell Robert that he's totaled his (Robert's) ONLY source of transportation to work! I can breathe a little now as I type, but at the moment, I was holding my breath as Luke came to pick Robert up and then drove to scene to see just how much damage was done. I was IMMEDIATELY relieved and EVER thankful that my son was alive and had literally walked away from the vehicle without a scratch. Well, I do have a photo of some red marks on his forearm, but those quickly disappeared.

Thankfully, he WAS wearing his seat belt. God knows I've drilled that
into my kiddos forever! Even with the seat belt on, his head hit the top
of the Explorer and he was jostled around a bit. John had NO idea what
was happening to him, but was ready for whatever was to come and just
went with it. My daughter, Joan brought up an interesting point when
she compared John's being "asleep" to that of a "drunk" driver. We all
know that the reason they usually survive is that their body is TOTALLY
relaxed and they don't normally tense up. Neither did John.

John was slammed sideways into the side of a hill, thus the broken back window
pushing upwards of the top of the Explorer. There was a large gully directly
him, which would have REALLY caused him some injuries or worse had
he been
pushed backwards and down into it. The rear left tire (engine still running
and tires rotating),
spun creating a rut deep enough to keep the vehicle from
traveling any further.

Two of the tires were flattened and the rear axle was broken. We are also in our
VERY dry season and, thankfully, the muffler did not start a fire. PHEW!
This is where I left off the Friday evening when I was called away from the computer to deal with a family matter. We then left for the weekend to attend the "80's" bash, returned yesterday to rest up a bit before Robert had to leave to go to work for a couple of hours. I received a call from him asking if I'd heard that John had totaled his twin brother, Luke's car. WHAT? Still in the midst of full-body pain from the fibro flare-up, I gently told Robert that I could NOT hear this now. How could my son have yet ANOTHER serious accident within the span of two weeks and walk away from it? It was NOT his time!!! Thank you Daddy!

I will tell y'all straight up that having homeschooled my six children for six years gave me the BEST education of a lifetime, IMHO! I learned SOOOOO much about learning styles, teaching styles, personality types, etc. Because of this and the therapy my boys and I went through to deal with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) shortly after my divorce, I have learned OODLES and can actually sit down and talk to my son, knowing what will cause him to shut me out, and get down to what's going on. I am not saying that I am successful EVERY time as sometimes my own emotions get the best of me, but I am learning MORE and MORE each time I am faced with something serious that needs resolution.

John was diagnosed ADHD and I came to the conclusion that after he was released from his IEP in high school, when they told us he no longer needed their services because his test scores were too high, that his trouble is, for the most part, emotionally based. The panel of teachers and administrators were in agreement with that as well. Enter in PTSD.

I have come to find that the more people harp on him, telling him what he NEEDS to do and WHEN, he gets overwhelmed and even when trying to focus on clearing his mind, the thoughts all creep in and he stresses - SILENTLY and consumed with what others are expecting of him. He told me that he KNOWS what he needs to do, but needs to slow down and he can only do so much at a time.

I am trying with all of my might at this point to be the go-between and to help shield him from a bit of unnecessary flack after the fact that he has LITERALLY been in the face of death twice. How can anyone TRULY understand what goes on in the soul of another human being if they've not even come close to such an experience? You cannot.

As I am HORRIBLY behind and really wish to spend this week preparing a few kits for my NEW store at DSO (I REALLY need to make a little money now that we've had to take on a car payment with the loss of the totaled Explorer and the fact that Robert will have to double his mileage in taking John to work as soon as he gets home from his day at work and then get up at 2:30 am so that we can pick him up at 3:00 am), I shall continue this another post and share with you the thoughts that went through my son's mind as he thought he was going to die in each accident - MORE so the second time around. (I have not seen the car and John did not wish for me to. As he explained, "it's toast, it's done" I am hoping for some photos from Luke though, since it is his car. He is VERY upset right now after driving up to see it earlier this evening.) I am now hoping and praying that there NOT be a another incident. While I GREATLY believe in an appointed time for death ... I am NOT privy to that date, so I can ONLY hope and pray that I NOT have to see it come to pass in my lifetime.

I have SO learned to live in the moment, for I know not when my last breath may come, nor that of a loved one. I have found that in the course of a phone conversation with one of my children, I will say "I love you" multiple times. And again, the song drifts through my mind, "there is NO time for fussing and fighting my friends ..."

So here you have it - the good, the bad AND the ugly! LOL! I needed to laugh right about now!

Please find below a "scrapatit" from my layout "Oopsie Daisies" and I hope to have some more goodies for you soon as well as photos from my daughter and SIL's visit weekend before last and from the BIG "80's" bash this past weekend.

Gosh I've missed y'all! To those who have sent me e-mails over the course of the past 2-1/2 weeks, I shall try my hardest to reply to them sometime this week. My heartfelt THANK YOU to those who have left me LOVE during my MIA status. You sincerely ROCK! MWAH!

LOTS of LOVE and BIG squishy hugs,
Linda :-D

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